Around hour 1600 the “hapjes”[4] will arrive. Here it is important that the table filled with ‘hapjes’[5] is not precisily positioned in the middle of the room, but moved slightly more towards the fat uncle at the party. So that the other people attending will have to stand up, and move through the middle of the circle, to grab, while everyone is looking at them, a little cube of cheese with mustard. Around hour 1700 above mentioned fat uncle will put his hands on his knees and loudly proclaim “Zo zo, tijd om naar huis te gaan.”[6] Formula One is starting and our national hero Max Verstappen might just have a chance to win.
And well, you wouldn’t want to miss that.
Around hour 1800 the hostess (almost always the wife, the husband has been drinking beer all evening) will ask if anyone would like to have dinner there “Dan zetten we zo de barbeque even aan.”[6] Everyone would like to, and the barbeque will be put outside. The full party will move to the barbeque to form a different circle outside around three hastily put-together tables. After three hamburgers everyone will be done and will slowly go home. Excluding grandma, who will stay a little longer “omdat het zo gezellig is.”[8] After cleaning up, the next day, the birthday party is concluded. And I can breathe easily for another full year.
[2] “Hello, yes, I’ll do it like this, congratulations everyone!”
[3] “Have a seat, I’ll grab you an extra chair.” 4 Snacks
[5] Per Dutch tradition filled with little cubes of cheese and small pickles wrapped in salami. If lucky, there might even be bitterballen.
[6] “Well well, time to go home.”
[7] “Then we can light up the barbeque in a little while.”
[8] There is no translation of the word ‘gezellig’. It is the ultimate Dutch way of saying grandma is having the time of her life.